Lessons from 10 Years in Business

Jul 26

In today’s blog post, I’m sharing ten lessons learned over ten years of owning and operating a wedding planning business, A Southern Soiree. Learn from my mistakes and take my word for it, because I’ve been through it all as a wedding planner and coach for wedding professionals. To hear these lessons more in depth, listen to Weddings For Real episode 111.

Lessons Learned

Lesson 1: Trust your gut.

If you’re anything like me, you have a voice of fear on one shoulder and inner instinct on the other shoulder. I’ve grappled with this for years because I’ve had a hard time distinguishing between the two. I want to play it safe so that I don’t fail, but that’s fear. For me, one of the biggest moments in my career was when I began being able to discern between these two voices. A few years back, I had a big business decision to make, and Jason was excited and pushing me along. The decision was whether or not I should go in on a venue partnership. Ultimately, we didn’t do it because my gut voice told me it wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing. Everytime I thought of that choice and what it would look like, I didn’t feel excited. It was pure anxiety instead. When you’re making decisions, ask yourself if it’s fear or your gut speaking to you.

Lesson 2: Find your people.

I encourage you to really live the motto “community over competition.” The wedding industry can sometimes feel like a bad version of high school. The mean girls and guys do exist and you will encounter those people. I encountered those people super early and was originally naive. Sometimes you get to know people, feel uncomfortable, and then realize that some people won’t be the right fit. Just know that you will meet others. If you’re struggling to find your people, I recommend listening to Weddings For Real episode 131 about relationship marketing.

Lesson 3: Avoid the weeds.

There will be a period in your business when things are growing, happening and overall good. Then, you realize you haven’t pruned your growing garden of a business, and you realized you didn’t control what direction your garden grew in. In this phase, you’ve lost control and you’re seeing early signs of burnout. Before you know it, your business is totally out of control. It’s hard to know how to slow down as an entrepreneur. Maybe the pandemic forced you to slow down, but the reality is you can’t be so deep in your business that you are unable to look down from a bird's eye view. It’s crucial that you have scheduled check ins with your team (or if it’s just you, yourself).

Lesson 4: The PIA (pain in the a**) fee will never be worth it.

I cannot count on just my two hands the number of times that I’ve booked a client with red flags. I think, “If they’re willing to pay X amount, it’ll be worth it.” Or, early on in my wedding planning business I thought, “If it’s at such and such venue, it’s okay if it’s a little less money.” This tip goes back to listening to your inner voice.

Lesson 5: Appreciate what’s special about the wedding industry.

As wedding vendors, we have an amazing opportunity that not many people get to have. We get a front row seat to the most important day of our couples’ lives. We get to see the behind the scenes, the nerves, the build up and the general excitement. Recognize what’s special about the role that you play in the industry.

Lesson 6: Vendors are more important than clients.

Clients pay our bills for sure, but the vendor relationships that you make in your career are going to be what keep you interested and invested in the industry. It’s also a great referral source too. A vendor can reinforce a client’s decision time and time again. When I became a planner, I went into each vendor relationship trying to solve the question: “How can I make your life easier?” My goal was to make things easier for vendors and that was my path to more bookings and stronger relationships.

Lesson 7: Don’t absorb your client’s anxiety.

Most vendors in the wedding industry usually fall into the category of being people pleasers. The clients’ priorities don’t always align with the vendors’ priorities. The vendor guides the client through the process and customizes things for the client. This may affect you more when you’re first starting out. When a client is overly worried about something, you may tend to take that anxiety on for them. You are the expert and you’ve chosen to do this as a profession. You have to guide a client through the process.

Lesson 8: Outsource what you are not good at or hire where you’re weak.

When you hire someone depends on your goals. If your goal is to be sustainable as a business and make this your profession, you don’t need to hire before you can afford it. If you want to take risks in your business and make it scalable, you have to hire help. Hiring a teammate or a contract employee allows you to grow and to have the time to think more about bigger picture items.

My weaknesses are the accounting side of the business and the setting up the day to day workflows. Some people love that, which is great! Hire for those things you dread. Make a vision that excites you and hire people to make it happen!

Lesson 9: Own your mistakes and learn from them.

I’m pretty critical of myself. I have hired and failed with certain positions over the years. It would be easy to say I hired the wrong person or that they weren’t good at their job. But the way to learn and grow is asking yourself, “What was my role in the failure?” I realize there are things I could have done better. Hiring in a moment of need is a mistake. Do check ins to understand if you’re getting to a place where you’d like to hire before it’s too late and you’re in the weeds. You have to give them a clear plan, take the proper steps and plan it out. Over communicate and be clear with your hires.

Whether it’s within your team, or with a client, be sure to find the takeaways from any decision that doesn't work out.

Lesson 10: Recognize when you’ve outgrown something.

Know when it’s time to move into something else and when it’s time to grow. I got into the industry because I love people. I love gaining trust, exceeding expectations and making connections. Could I continue to be a wedding planner and be fine? Sure. But I realize that I want to grow and that started with podcasting, then one-on-one consulting, then The Planner’s Vault. Maybe you’ve had your business for a few years or you’ve just started it, but you’re still working your full time job. Maybe there’s more and there’s another way your business can grow, but you’re playing it safe. See the opportunity for growth and know that you are meant to do big things.

A Few More Tips

Also, below are some honorable mentions for lessons I’ve learned that didn’t make the top ten cut but that are important nonetheless.

One bad review won’t kill you. I have a whole Weddings For Real episode on this one. I received one bad review in 2014, and I still have a negative reaction when I hear the name Stephanie. At that moment, I remember thinking it was the beginning of the end of my business. All of a sudden, I got a bad review and thought things were over. Ultimately, I handled it with poise and moved on from there, and it wasn’t the end at all.
No shoes are comfortable for 14 hours in a day. It doesn’t matter if they’re $20 or $300. I wear flats with arch support. I bring two or three pairs of shoes on a wedding day for variety, and I take baths with epsoms salts at the end of the night. Find what works for you.
Free labor isn’t free, and interns are work. You’ll spend time (a resource you can’t get back) training, teaching, and communicating with them. Pour into the intern and hopefully there’s some good that comes back to you and your business.

If you are looking to grow and learn from industry experts, have access to templates and documents, be sure to check out The Planner’s Vault. It’s sure to keep you invested and interested in the career you’ve chosen for yourself.